What kind of sex are 20 somethings really having in 2013?

“Do you think Romeo was ready to commit suicide because of Juliet’s sweet ‘kisses’ alone? I, think not.


I have been toying with writing this post for a while now, but I have decided, it is time. As a writer and newbie author, I have been trying to balance my creative license with what is considered the industry standard in romance novels. The trouble that I have been having is that I don’t see myself as a “romance” writer. My stories are more about the real, nitty gritty relationships and the stuff we don’t normally see in the typical romance story. My life wasn’t filled with years of unrequited love, or crushes. My first love didn’t just appear back into my life after a wistfully sad ten year absence. Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m a HUGE romance buff over here. I do enjoy getting swept up in the roses and grand gestures from time to time.  But…  Books that add elements of heat and steam, and the darker side of human emotions mixed in are what really grab me, and I am not alone. Some of my most cherished reads of the last year have been these stories that make a left turn away from Cinderella, and head towards Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare wasn’t famous just for his poeticism and use of flowery adjectives. His stories showcased the dark and sometimes desperate emotions that being ‘in love’ can produce.  Do you think Romeo was ready to commit suicide because of Juliet’s sweet ‘kisses’ alone? I, think not. 

So that brings me back to why I asked my original question. What kind of sex are 20 somethings really having in 2013?  first book, Jaded Hearts, has brought this subject to my doorstep, because of the feedback that I have received.  Rave and critical reviews of my sex scenes. The main character and most of the characters in this book are between the ages of 21-29.  Most of the responses I get are “Damn, that was hot!’, or “Where can I find a man like THAT???”. A few reviewers loved the book, but felt like the sex scenes were so hot that it made them uncomfortable. A couple even said it felt like reading porn.  Now my book is a fictional story, but there are elements of real life experiences, not necessarily mine ;P, that were mixed in. The book is titled JADED Hearts. Maybe it was my detailed descriptions that wore on their sensibilities? Some sexy-time things are still considered taboo? At 24 years of age, what kind of sex are hot, single and sexual people really having? I know I had some pretty interesting, ahem, experiences in my 20’s so maybe that’s why it’s not such a big deal for me to write about two people who are so hot for each other that they shoot through the barriers of ‘normal’ sex.  

I’m not dense. I do understand that there is an industry standard to what kind, and how much sex a romantic story should have before it becomes erotica.  If your book is mostly story with a few super hot scenes thrown in, should you put a disclaimer? Like the explicit warning stickers that alert you of a cd’s graphic content? What does the industry really know about sexual norms? How many people are really having great sex? How many are not? If anyone can set me straight, that would be fantastic.  



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