What does marriage mean to you in 2010?

I know that in the last decade my views on marriage have changed to say the least. I’ve meandered from the picket fence theory to more of a progressive view of finding a partner that I can actually enjoy life with. I’m not a traditional woman so that traditional script left me feeling like an alien. I’m interested to know how others see this sacred institution.

With all of the debates about the availability of single black men, and the unapproacable attitudes of single independent successful black women can we still make it by the old-school norms? Even couples who have tied the knot will admit that the living organsim of their marrige does not resemble the “dream”.

Our Society has shifted in other areas, but many still hold on to that same blueprint. Can a traditional marriage survive and thrive in an ever changing society with expanded views on sexuality and gender roles? Has shacking up stolen some of the thunder of the real thing? What does Marriage mean to you in 2010?

7 thoughts on “What does marriage mean to you in 2010?

  1. …not saying that I know it all, but it seems to me that society has helped "push" the concept of marriage to the side, making way for "shacking up". I mean, we all watch tv, listen to the radio, etc. The point I want to make is that our cultural role models over the past 10 years have not helped the idea that marriage is the answer to our relationship questions. If anything, they've pointed out how to ruin,or jeopordize the holy union, a.k.a marriage. It's ok for women to be INDEPENDENT, just as it's ok for men to just want to be SUCCESSFUL, but do we hear/read about them doing these things together? We watch the hip hop videos on tv, or the endless supply of reality shows, or ESPN ( for all my fellas ) because they help us escape from reality to think "hey, I can have that Bentley coupe" or, "hey, I would love to be on a show like this 'cause I would…." or " damn, Kobe dropped 60 on the Knicks, but I bet he couldn't do that against me…" Thanks for reading, but in closing, I think that our society today isn't one that encourages us to want to walk down the aisle.

  2. marriage isnt very popular these days. cheating is. i can hardly remember any stories of who got married this past year but several break-ups pop into my head quickly; Shaq, Usher and Tiger….. Love stories gone wrong seems to be all that the media focuses on. I think the reason is because people look at marriage as an adult version of being boyfriend and girlfriend, instead of "we will be together til death". It is supposed to be a serious commitment, but today, people treat like an outfit they can put on and take off as they please. If we continue down this path, marriage will be obsolete in the near future. people wont even bother.

  3. That is a good question. Even though my parents marriage was a joke, I still believe that with the right person that you can have a good marriage. I want to get married but when I really think about it, I want to experience the wedding day. To see how it feels like getting gorgeous and all the attention is on you for that one day. People do take marriage for a joke or to let everyone know that they are a "good guy". Deep down, they gonna do what they want.Anyone listened to Michael Baisden today? The topic was about women who were engaged for too damn long and the fiancee called on the radio asking their man when they are getting married. One lady said she had been engaged for 13years!!!!!!!!!!! WTF Another lady called saying that she had been married for 9 years and is getting separated. Her soon to be ex told her that the only reason he married her is because he did not want to loose her and he really didn't want to get married. Michael Baisden called it the "Shut Up Ring". Marriage to me means growing old with someone and having a life partner to enjoy everyday with…and a ring to symbolize his unconditional love for me!!!!!

  4. Get the fun outta here! Marriage is a business/partnership meant to be shared with someone you love, respect, and can't see yourself living without. The institution of marriage has experienced a paradigm shift bc of the manner in which people approach it. It has been minimized by greed, selfishness, and whimsical encounters. Seriously people, marriage is not meant for all just the grown and sexy…those mature enough, secure enough, and loyal enough to weather the storm. I know I'm too deep for you so I'll conclude by saying…Stop with the fairytales, dreams and hallucinations that marriage is about a wedding and ring. No, byatches! It's a journey meant to unite two homosapiens of the opposite sex willing to sacrifice self, love another more than themselves, and willing to collaborate masterfully in communicating their needs and desires that aid in keeping the roads paved while on their journey. Shut the front door!

  5. When I was younger my first thought of marriage was a happily ever after fairytale with a big lavish ceremony. However, I am mature to know now that marriage entails much more than just love. Married couples will face varies challenges but must endure the storms of life as a team. In a nutshell, marriage to me means a sacred union between a man and a woman based on spiritual compatibility, love, commitment, honesty, and sacrifice.

  6. A marriage can survive and thrive despite gender roles and sexuality. How you ask? Through the use of…dare I say it…honest communication. If people would be honest about what their intentions are, what their desires are, what they want from their mate then a marriage can not only survive but thrive. Unfortunately, most people send their representative to the marriage table and leave their true selves hidden somewhere on the internet or worse…o boy…in the closet. Lets be real…marriage is a contract and it entitles the bearer to property and other financial rights. Part of the problem is that most couples find themselvees without viable assets to believe the marriage is worth working on, fighting for or saving. When you look at couples who have stuck it out over the years thru infidelity, dishonesty, fraud, alternative lifestyles they tend to have assets. Shacking up as you call it has taken the thunder out of it and most people don't even shack up don't own where they stay together. Really at least get some proprietary interest. People talk a lot about having the ability to move out, be free or whatever but the truth is they don't have nothing and nothing to give so what's it matter if they walk away from a union that probably didn't yield more than children. Marriage is a partnership. Through and Through. Sometimes you'll lead. Sometimes they'll lead. As long as you arrive safe at the destination it shouldn't matter who leads or for how long. If you can't show your partner your bank statements then there aint much hope of a healthy marriage. PERIOD!!!

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